Welcome to another roundup of the best product management humor on the web. It’s been a while since our last edition, but the jokes these days are too good to pass up. Product managers, have you considered moonlighting as standup comedians? We think you’ve got the chops. Plus, there have been so many meme templates created in the last two months, and we’re happy to see the product community running wild with them. After all, Twitter is so much more fun than managing your growing backlog.
Without further ado, check out the latest and greatest PM-related posts that made us spit out our coffee.
How to save a (PM) life
if someone held a gun to my head and asked me what product managers do.. tell my family i love them
— Bo Lau (@bolau_) July 4, 2020
We … wow, we don’t know where to start this one. The best response? Our friend Manosai Eerabathini of Google has a great contender: “Smile, and just say no.” The real answer is that product managers do a lot, and there’s just not enough time to explain it all, even when push really comes to shove.
De-cluttering your product
The best way to write clean code… pic.twitter.com/4w2WRaarIb
— Shipping Tomorrow 🚀 (@ShippingTmrw) August 2, 2020
I’m a huge Marie Kondo fan. I fully believe in throwing things that don’t spark joy straight into the trash. Like calendar invites, feature requests — just kidding. JUST KIDDING. Kind of? Still. Product managers could learn a thing or two from Marie Kondo. If your feature backlog is looking too chaotic, throw away the requests that don’t align with your product vision or bring your customers joy.
Getting meta in here
I had a product management joke, but what problem does it really solve?
— Fareed Mosavat (@far33d) July 25, 2020
Wait, wait. Why are the jokes getting so hurtful? Just kidding. We are loving this joke format and all the replies it inspired. Listen, product managers are paid to ask the hard questions, and answer the harder questions with even more questions. It is what it is. Second best contender: “It wasn’t as valuable as some of the other jokes, so I didn’t prioritize it.”
PM job ads
According to job descriptions there are three levels of product managers:
Product Manager—8 years experience
Senior Product Manager—8 years experience
Director of Product—8 years of experience
— @MikalFM (@MikalFM) September 5, 2020
The “number of years required” line on every job description is the worst. Why is it so out-of-line with reality? We get it — product management is a fairly new field, but we need to establish some ground rules. Next time you’re looking to hire a product manager, focus more on what they’ve accomplished rather than the number of years listed on their resume. You’ll likely end up with a better group of candidates.
Wrong answers only
What does PM stand for? Wrong answers only.
— Brian Bosché (@BrianPBosche) September 2, 2020
This is another great joke template. Our favorite wrong answer in the thread? Professional Meeting-Maker. Hey, it’s accurate! Product managers bring people together to deliver great products, which requires meetings. We also love all the Party-Manager suggestion, but if we’re being realistic, we’re probably the only ones who think of meetings as parties. Our team’s contribution? People Manager. You know it’s true.
It’s the remiiiiiiix!
I like big backlog & I can not lie
You product managers can’t deny
That when a PO walks in with a Kanban board
And a Gantt Chart mapped in time
You get sized
Got the sprints estimated
So you know that plan is SAFe®
It looks like one of those large ones
With plenty o’features onit
— Dean Peters (@deanpeters) September 4, 2020
Is this the greatest remix of “Baby Got Back” ever written? The answer is yes. We couldn’t have ever imagined anything better, and we’re sure Sir Mix-A-Lot would have to agree. We don’t know any product managers that like big backlogs, but we love the optimism.
I like how we are all still arguing over what Minimum Viable Product means.
— David J Bland (@davidjbland) August 19, 2020
Next icebreaker idea: ask everyone to share their definition of what a MVP is. Then stand back, because the fists may start flying. Honestly, the definition varies so much from company to company (and even from individual to individual) that it’s hard to come up with one, all-encompassing answer to what an MVP really is. Maybe one day we’ll finally nail it.
The conspiracy unicorn
This is so perfect. pic.twitter.com/Qc8qy3wmPV
— Trevin Chow (@trevin) August 15, 2020
Ok, be honest: which one are you? We’re “conspiracy theory.” When customer success, sales, and other stakeholders all come running to us with “data” that says customers will benefit from X feature the most, we put on our tinfoil hats. Being data-driven is important, sure, but it’s crucial to make sure that the data makes sense. Otherwise, we’re not really connecting the dots.